What is Bondage?
http://www.temptationsdirect.co.uk/articles/articles/16/1/What-is-Bondage/Page1.html
By Stephen Hackett
Published on 03/20/2008
Bondage is a human sexual practice involving being tied up or otherwise restrained for pleasure.
Studies in the U.S. have shown that about half of all men find the idea of bondage to be erotic. Many women do as well. As with any study of sexual thoughts and behavior, the available studies are not well controlled and the best studies are now out of date.
Studies in the U.S. have shown that about half of all men find the idea of bondage to be erotic. Many women do as well. As with any study of sexual thoughts and behavior, the available studies are not well controlled and the best studies are now out of date.
Bondage is a human sexual practice involving being tied up or otherwise restrained for pleasure.
Studies in the U.S. have shown that about half of all men find the idea of bondage to be erotic. Many women do as well. As with any study of sexual thoughts and behavior, the available studies are not well controlled and the best studies are now out of date.
Divergent Views
There are a number of different schools of thought about bondage. The social and sexual role of bondage varies among these groups, as does the sense of limits. These groups include:
The leathermen emulated the biker culture that arose after World War II. While the bikers were heterosexual, the leathermen admired their toughness, tenacity, and willingness to ignore mainstream social mores. Consequently, they adopted the biker style of dress, particularly the use of black leather. While this served a utilitarian purpose for the bikers, in providing warmth and protection from road rash, it was primarily of fashion and fetishistic value to the leathermen, who for the most part did not ride motorcycles extensively.
The historical record does not reveal the exact nature of the transition from use of leather as a fashion to its use in bondage. We can speculate familiarity with the fetishistic value of leather, combined with a willingness to challenge socially-imposed inhibitions, may have led to experimentation with bondage.
Beginning in the late 1960s, heterosexual groups began to come together to explore bondage and power exchange. With time these groups have grown and have raised their profile somewhat, to the point where most U.S. cities of any size have one or more such groups. A major goal of most of these groups is to provide semi-public opprotunities for BDSM, in an effort to provide a safe environment for relative strangers to engage in such activities. As such, these groups attach high importance to objective safety rules, such as the use of safewords.
Couples and Bondage
Bondage as a source of arousal is engrained deeply enough in the human psyche that it is likely to have been an adjunct to sexual intercourse for as long as there have been ropes. It would be nice to have some research to quote on this, though, rather than just making something up.
Couples in committed relationships, outside the BDSM subculture, usually approach bondage differently. For them, it is an adjunct to sex, one technique of many. While satisfactory studies are unavailable it seems likely that in relationships of any duration, most couples will experiment with bondage at least casually at some point. This may be something as simple as tying a partner's wrists with handkerchiefs or soft restraints. Some couples will ultimately make bondage, in some form, part of their sexual routine.
For the most part, such bondage games end in sex. In contrast, bondage games between more casually acquainted players in the BDSM subculture frequently end in masturbation only, or in some cases include no sexual release at all.
Safety rules followed by couples in a committed relationship are frequently more subjective and trust-based. These differences can lead to culture clash where a couple with a history of bondage games together encounters the BDSM subculture: the couple can't understand the insistence upon safewords, while the members of the subculture can't understand the focus on sexual intercourse.
Male Masturbation
Studies of men's sexual fantasies and masturbation have shown that the fantasy of being bound during intercourse is second in frequency only to the basic fantasy of sex with a voluptuous nude woman. Consequently, it should be no surprise that bondage themes have been present in pornography for some time.
Bondage pornography for heterosexual men overwhelmingly depicts bound women, rather than bound men, in spite of the most common fantasy in both sexes being one of being bound, rather than of being the dominant. This may be because many men fear becoming aroused by pictures of other men, and are more willing to identify with a bound woman. It may also be because pictures of bound women allow them to vicariously experience both the heterosexual male dominant and submissive fantasies.
Technique
Bondage takes practice to get right. To be effective and enjoyable, it requires communication and trust between partners. For these reasons it is limited to being a source of sexual fantasy in most relationships. However, the financial success of companies that market bondage equipment testifies to the fact that it is more than fantasy to many. Reliable data is unavailable, but perhaps around 5%-10% of married couples have made regular use of bondage in their sexual activities at some point in the relationship.
Safety
Many people regard bondage as safe when conducted between sober, trusting partners in a committed, functioning relationship. You are responsible for your own and your partner's health. All the dangers of physical restraint apply to sexual bondage. In particular, self bondage without another person present is dangerous and in some forms has lead to many deaths.
Other safety precautions include:
It should be noted that scenes depicted in bondage photographs and videos are chosen for their visual impact and fantasy value. In most cases they cannot be acted out with good results.
Why do some people like being tied up?
People who find it erotic to be tied up do so for a variety of reasons:
People who enjoy tying other people up are motivated by a variety of reasons, including:
The mechanics are trivial compared to the relationship issues. Start with a committed relationship with a lot of trust and plenty of sexual activity together. Talk things through first. Start slow and easy. Take turns being the one being tied up.
It is important to take at least the simple safety precautions listed above.
Some members of the BDSM subculture take another route and seek out partners who share their interest in bondage. Many act out their bondage fantasies within the confines of private play parties where overt genital contact is not allowed between participants.
What are some more involved techniques?
Bondage techniques can be divided into five main categories:
Studies in the U.S. have shown that about half of all men find the idea of bondage to be erotic. Many women do as well. As with any study of sexual thoughts and behavior, the available studies are not well controlled and the best studies are now out of date.
Divergent Views
There are a number of different schools of thought about bondage. The social and sexual role of bondage varies among these groups, as does the sense of limits. These groups include:
- Members of BDSM subcultures, who see bondage primarily as one of many power-exchange techniques
- Couples who see bondage as one of many sexual techniques
- Men (and a few women) for whom bondage mainly has fantasy value during masturbation
- It is worth noting that bondage has sexual appeal to persons of all sexual orientations. However, a subculture of homosexual men, sometimes called leathermen, were arguably among the first group to make obvious hints of their tastes in bondage in public.
The leathermen emulated the biker culture that arose after World War II. While the bikers were heterosexual, the leathermen admired their toughness, tenacity, and willingness to ignore mainstream social mores. Consequently, they adopted the biker style of dress, particularly the use of black leather. While this served a utilitarian purpose for the bikers, in providing warmth and protection from road rash, it was primarily of fashion and fetishistic value to the leathermen, who for the most part did not ride motorcycles extensively.
The historical record does not reveal the exact nature of the transition from use of leather as a fashion to its use in bondage. We can speculate familiarity with the fetishistic value of leather, combined with a willingness to challenge socially-imposed inhibitions, may have led to experimentation with bondage.
Beginning in the late 1960s, heterosexual groups began to come together to explore bondage and power exchange. With time these groups have grown and have raised their profile somewhat, to the point where most U.S. cities of any size have one or more such groups. A major goal of most of these groups is to provide semi-public opprotunities for BDSM, in an effort to provide a safe environment for relative strangers to engage in such activities. As such, these groups attach high importance to objective safety rules, such as the use of safewords.
Couples and Bondage
Bondage as a source of arousal is engrained deeply enough in the human psyche that it is likely to have been an adjunct to sexual intercourse for as long as there have been ropes. It would be nice to have some research to quote on this, though, rather than just making something up.
Couples in committed relationships, outside the BDSM subculture, usually approach bondage differently. For them, it is an adjunct to sex, one technique of many. While satisfactory studies are unavailable it seems likely that in relationships of any duration, most couples will experiment with bondage at least casually at some point. This may be something as simple as tying a partner's wrists with handkerchiefs or soft restraints. Some couples will ultimately make bondage, in some form, part of their sexual routine.
For the most part, such bondage games end in sex. In contrast, bondage games between more casually acquainted players in the BDSM subculture frequently end in masturbation only, or in some cases include no sexual release at all.
Safety rules followed by couples in a committed relationship are frequently more subjective and trust-based. These differences can lead to culture clash where a couple with a history of bondage games together encounters the BDSM subculture: the couple can't understand the insistence upon safewords, while the members of the subculture can't understand the focus on sexual intercourse.
Male Masturbation
Studies of men's sexual fantasies and masturbation have shown that the fantasy of being bound during intercourse is second in frequency only to the basic fantasy of sex with a voluptuous nude woman. Consequently, it should be no surprise that bondage themes have been present in pornography for some time.
Bondage pornography for heterosexual men overwhelmingly depicts bound women, rather than bound men, in spite of the most common fantasy in both sexes being one of being bound, rather than of being the dominant. This may be because many men fear becoming aroused by pictures of other men, and are more willing to identify with a bound woman. It may also be because pictures of bound women allow them to vicariously experience both the heterosexual male dominant and submissive fantasies.
Technique
Bondage takes practice to get right. To be effective and enjoyable, it requires communication and trust between partners. For these reasons it is limited to being a source of sexual fantasy in most relationships. However, the financial success of companies that market bondage equipment testifies to the fact that it is more than fantasy to many. Reliable data is unavailable, but perhaps around 5%-10% of married couples have made regular use of bondage in their sexual activities at some point in the relationship.
Safety
Many people regard bondage as safe when conducted between sober, trusting partners in a committed, functioning relationship. You are responsible for your own and your partner's health. All the dangers of physical restraint apply to sexual bondage. In particular, self bondage without another person present is dangerous and in some forms has lead to many deaths.
Other safety precautions include:
- never leave a bound person alone
- never tie anything around a person's neck
- make sure that you have the means to rapidly undo the bondage by cutting the restraints even if you can't untie a knot or release a buckle
- Bondage of long duration (over 20 minutes), bondage where the subject is suspended, and bondage thorough enough to leave the subject effectively unable to communicate all pose special risks that are beyond the scope of this brief article.
It should be noted that scenes depicted in bondage photographs and videos are chosen for their visual impact and fantasy value. In most cases they cannot be acted out with good results.
Why do some people like being tied up?
People who find it erotic to be tied up do so for a variety of reasons:
- The most frequently cited reason is a mental freedom from inhibitions and responsibility since they have, in a way, given up control of the sexual situation to follow. This is sometimes referred to as a power exchange.
- Some like the tactile feeling of restraint, that is, the feeling of pressure or pulling.
- Some enjoy the feeling of helplessness for its own sake. Some like to struggle aggressively against their bonds, particularly when being sexually or otherwise stimulated. There are a few people in this category who play bondage games that do not include a significant sexual component.
- Some derive pleasure from symbolic degradation (less common). There are a handful of people who enjoy role playing prison or mental hospital situations who probably fit best in this category.
- Fetishistic interest in the mechanics of bondage, with particular interest in the bondage equipment and restraints used. Some of these people are interested in the look, feel, and aroma of leather and rubber restraints. Others are fascinated by the relationship between the geometry of the tie, the degrees of freedom remaining and the feelings elicited.
- As an adjunct to other activities
- Like hang gliding or mountaineering, some feel that bondage allows them to do something potentially dangerous in a safe way.
- In the wide range of human sexual experience, there are probably a few others.
People who enjoy tying other people up are motivated by a variety of reasons, including:
- taking pleasure in the erotic submission of their partner
- wishing to please their partner, and the stimulation engendered by their partner's pleasure in it
- fetishistic interest in the elegance of bondage, with particular interest in the geometric patterns and symmetry of the restraint
- using bondage as an adjunct to other BDSM activities
- Enjoyment of the power and control one has over a restrained partner. People for whom this is a principal motivation may have trouble making it much fun for the other person.
The mechanics are trivial compared to the relationship issues. Start with a committed relationship with a lot of trust and plenty of sexual activity together. Talk things through first. Start slow and easy. Take turns being the one being tied up.
It is important to take at least the simple safety precautions listed above.
Some members of the BDSM subculture take another route and seek out partners who share their interest in bondage. Many act out their bondage fantasies within the confines of private play parties where overt genital contact is not allowed between participants.
What are some more involved techniques?
Bondage techniques can be divided into five main categories:
- Bondage that pulls parts of the body together (bondage rope, straps, harnesses)
- Bondage that spreads parts of the body apart (spreader bars, x-frames)
- Bondage that ties the body down to another object (such as chairs or stocks)
- Bondage that suspends the body from another object (suspension bondage)
- Bondage that restricts normal movement (hobble skirts, handcuffs, human pony harness)
- Bondage is often combined with other sexual and BDSM techniques.