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A Great Lunch and Dessert was even Better

May 24th, 2009 H Posted in Sex Stories | No Comments »

Our son-in-law, Harley’s job was transferring him a new location. Recently my 24-year-old daughter & husband were here for a visit on their way to his new job. Haley and I had a lot of catching up to do. We went window-shopping and a nice lunch the third day with us. That gave me opportunity to talk woman to woman with my daughter about her and Harley. He was physically and emotionally abusive to her during the first few years together. I had always been worried for her safety.

Haley and I drove to a mass transit sub station and headed down town on the tram. We got off at the 16th St. mall in Denver. We were just casually chatting and walking along the street shops. We came up to a sidewalk restaurant, “Haley. Sweetie, If you are ready for some lunch we can eat here” “Yeah Mom why don’t we”.

We walked in and the waiter came up to us and said, “Good morning ladies. Walt is my name. Would you like a table here or on our side walk dinning? We are still serving breakfast or do you wish to have some lunch?” He asked. Haley told him that we would be having lunch out side. Walt was very polite as he handed each of us a lunch menu. I looked at Haley and said, we haven’t had much time to talk since you arrived, I asked her how things had been going” She hung her head down looking at her lap and answered me. ”I’m doing ok mom,” I could tell by her gestures that she wasn’t being honest with me. “No, no Sweetie I know better than that! Please tell me”.

“Mother, it’s bad! Harley doesn’t want sex any more. I have asked him why numerous times. He just says he too busy. I’m so horny I could fuck anyone right here. It has been almost 6 mouths since we made love! I have kept up with my body by working out a few times a week. I keep my public hair trimmed short. I just donno why. He has stopped the abuse. I just don’t know”.

“I knew it was something Haley, you can’t fool your mother. Have you talked to anyone about this? Could it be another woman?” I asked. Before she could answer me, Walt brought our meal. “Here ya go ladies. Is there something else I can get you” he asked. With out even thinking Haley said, “Well yes there is something else I need. I need ah good hard cock up my pussy! Oops. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that” Walt looked at her & I as he smiled back. “I think can help you with that too” he said. I kind of blushed and Haley smiled back at him. Walt said, “I have my break in about an hour, that will give you time to finish your lunch. We can talk about this then. Ok?” “Sure” she said.

Walt continued to wait on us though out our meal. He could tell we were done. I went up to pay our check. The hostess said that your check has already been taken care of. It’s on Walt. I walked back to the table. Walt was just sitting down. I said, “Look Walt you paid our bill. Thanks for that. Our meal & your service was great, but I don’t think we can take you up on your other offer” Walt smiled, “Before you give me your final answer you need to see something” he said, I took off work for the day. Just follow me. My condo is close by.

“Well, whatdoya think Mom”? “I don’t know, it’s really not ah good idea Haley, but I if you want to I guess we could” Walt stepped between us and took our arms over his as we walked to his condo. I was concerned, but Haley was all smiles. Walt unlocked his door and we went in. I asked him what he had to show us. He looked at me then Haley & said, “Miss Haley, I heard you tell your mother that you haven’t had sex in a while and that you needed a hard dick! That correct?” Walt took off his apron. Damn there was the biggest pile of cock behind his zipper.

I’ve never cheated on Haley’s father. The only cock I’d seen other than him was back when I was a little girl. The boy next door & I was playing, (if you show me yours, I’ll show you mine kind of game).

I had never seen a dick that large, I know Haley hadn’t either. I was being temped. All of a sudden Walt dropped his pants and this pile I spoke of fell out. (Holy Crap) it must have been 5 to 6 inches long and it was soft. Damn! Walt said, “Is this what you’re in need of Haley?” He stroked it a few times and it began to grow before our very eyes. It looked like a swimming pool diving board sticking out there. I was temped again.

The look on Haley’s face was enough to know what I was going to do. I walked over to Walt and took a hold of this horse cock. I couldn’t even get my fingers around it. “How long is this dick? I asked him. Here measure it. I placed the end of his measuring tape at the base. I pulled it out and out 7, 8, 9, 9 ¾! “Damn Walt your mommy & daddy did you a favor. My husband is not even close to this. He is ah little over 7” I LQQKED over at Haley she was standing there with her mouth open in astonishment. She asked, “How many women have been able to take that thing” He didn’t answer.

I dropped to my knees and started to rub his balls and gently stroke him. Haley seemed upset, She said, “Mom, Mother. I found this! this is mine” “Believe me sweetie, there is enough for both of us” She stripped naked. Her small 34b titties were standing up and her nipples were as hard as Walt was. She was correct. There was very little public hair covering her pussy. I could see her moisture gathering. That turned me on to see my daughter in such a breeding mode. “Haley, you take over a little while. I stood up and removed my clothes. Taking my clothes in front of this stranger and my daughter I felt like a slut, but my loins felt incredible.

“Have you ever had two horny women at once Walt” he took us to his bedroom. Haley and I took of the rest his clothes. His body was immaculate. Walt had a perfect six-pack mid-section, Sandy red hair, and blue eyes. Haley sat him down on his bed as she took his dick in her hands and began slowly beating him off. I pushed his upper body back to the mattress and climbed above his head. I lowered my muff over his thick mustache and he took over. I was already pretty wet and his tongue found its way to my slit. I reached down to pull apart my cunt lips to give him better access to my honey pot. It didn’t take long and he had me feeling an orgasm force that I had never felt before with husband.

I could hear Haley making slurping sounds on Walt’s love tool with every stroke. She was trying to get as much of that monster dick down her throat. I was nearing a huge orgasm as my insides tightened when Walt bit down on my clitoris that sent me over the edge. I was riding his face. Gawd what a feeling as I started to cum! Haley moved up behind me and sat on Walt’s cock. He was too big for her small hairless cunt to take it all at one time. Haley managed to bury about 7” She commented that she was feeling full. Walt began to move up as Haley was coming down. They soon were in rhythm as he continued to eat my pussy.

We fucked like that for 10 minutes. Walt moved out from under us and I was still on my knees. Walt told me to move back to the edge of the bed. He told Haley to get above me facing the same way. He started to pound my cunt a few times and entered Haley’s cunt. Back and forth like this from my pussy to hers. We were in a state unknown to Haley and I. Walt was getting close to spilling his guts by the way he was breathing and moaning. It hit me right then that I was cheating on my husband and Haley was too, but it was to late. I had one goal in mind and that was to get Walt to cum in my depth.

As we fucked Walt started to moan loud and forcing his huge dick into Haley & I. I started to back up against him when he was in me. Haley was doing the same. His cock had grown a little more as he began to ejaculate in her & I. He splattered in Haley’s pussy and then mine. Only managed to miss twice. That wad landed on my ass cheeks. We stayed in the position until after Walt had emptied his balls in our cunts. We made our way back to the bed. The biggest cock of our lives had just finished with Haley and I.

The three of us were in a blissful state of sexual satisfaction, but Walt wasn’t finished yet. His balls were still filled and he wanted more. He started to fuck Haley harder than he was before, I was afraid he would hurt Haley’s little cunt with his dick. She was enjoying his treatment. She said, “Mamma, I am going to cum again. Screaming as her excitement multiplied I could see her pussy swallowing his dick as deep as possible. He reached under her and grabbed her nipples and pinched them real hard. She screamed, “Oh Gawd, fuck my pussy deep. Help me cum Walt. Fuck me hard” He increased his speed as he unloaded his last bit of his manhood in her young little snatch.

I was lying on my back watching them and masturbating trying to get off one more time. Walt had seen what I was doing and he slapped my hand away from my coochie and he mounted me for one last ride. I threw my legs in the air as he plunged his dick down to my cervix. I screamed a bit, but the pain didn’t last long, pleasure took its place. I was thrusting my ass up to meet him fast and hard. Walt started pounding my love connection with punishment because I hadn’t been able to take all of his cock down to my womb.

All three of us lay there in a ball of sweat and cum. We showered together and got dressed. Walt said if we needed a good hard dick to come & look him up. Haley and I went back to my car & didn’t say a word to each other until we were almost home. It was about 7pm. I told Haley that we lost track of the time. That’s all we say. I felt bad about cheating on my husband. I had always fantasized about being ravaged by a Big Cock. Now that this happened. It’s over.

A month later Haley found out that Harley’s lack interest in sex with her was because he was actually bi. He had a few male lovers.

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Escaped Convict

May 24th, 2009 H Posted in Adult & Sex Jokes | No Comments »

An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder, had spent 25 years of his life sentence in prison. While on the run, he broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom.

He tied the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife on the bed on the other side of the room. The convict got on the bed and it appeared to the husband that he may have been kissing her neck. Suddenly the convict got up and left the room. As soon as he had a chance, the husband made his way across the room with the chair in tow, and turned to his pretty young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown. He whispered, “Honey, this guy hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw him kissing on your neck and then he left in a hurry. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants to have it off with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Whatever you do don’t fight him or make him mad. Our lives depend on it.”

“Oh honey”, the wife said, spitting out her gag, “I’m so relieved you feel that way. You’re right, he hasn’t seen a woman in years. But he wasn’t kissing my neck… he was whispering in my ear. He told me he thinks you’re really cute and asked if we kept the Vaseline in the bathroom.”

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Temptations Direct Expands its Online Sex Empire

May 5th, 2009 H Posted in News | No Comments »

Temptations Direct, an online supplier of adult toys and lingerie, is set to spice up the sex life of more UK consumers with its takeover of Purplepleasures.com. The online sex supermarket will now offer a bigger range of saucy supplies to satisfy the nation’s insatiable appetite for naughty bedroom novelties.

Rewriting the recession rulebook for small businesses, the takeover will see the Redditch-based company double its turnover over the next 12 months and take on more staff. With hundreds of small firms going to the wall every week and unemployment figures still rising, Temptations Direct’s expansion is a boon for Redditch, which has been hit particularly hard by the recession, and proof that a small family run company can prosper during the crunch.

The Temptations Direct website stocks more than 12,000 products including sex toys, lubricants, lingerie, novelties, games, and bondage gear and furniture. With Purple Pleasures added to the saucy stable, the company will offer one of the largest and most diverse selections of adult goods in the UK. Plans are already in place to increase the Purple Pleasures range from 1,500 items to over 7,000.

Saucy wares already on the Purple Pleasures site include a virtual warren full of rabbit vibrators, sexy outfits and erotic clothing from Shirley of Hollywood, Dreamgirl, Forplay and Hustler, and fetish gear fit for the most discerning BDSM connoisseur.

Director Stephen Hackett says: “The increasingly adventurous attitude to life in the British bedroom means the market for adult material is booming – and we’re expanding to keep up with demand. Whether you’re a sex toy virgin or a seasoned S&M veteran, you’ll find everything you need without having to step outside your front door.”

The company’s expansion will bring extra benefits for its customers: higher stock levels will allow it to deliver orders more quickly while additional supplier discounts will translate to lower prices online.

Stephen Hackett adds: “Anyone concerned about Purple Pleasures’ previous reputation for poor service and unfulfilled orders can rest assured – it will now be run with the same high standards that Temptations Direct customers have always enjoyed.”

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2 Girls 1 Guy

April 25th, 2009 H Posted in Sex Stories | No Comments »

Laying Kathryn on the bed Tom began to kiss her neck, gently nipping and running his tongue all over. Gradually Tom moved lower down Kathryn’s body running his tongue around her belly button. Tom slid his hand under Kathryn’s T-shirt and cupped her firm breasts. Gently he squeezed them, kneading them with his hands, and began to run his tongue back up her body. He then began to suck her erect nipples. When he began nibbling her she began to moan softly and her breathing became quick and sharp.

Tom reached between Kathryn’s legs which were warm and moist; he began to gently caress her clit. Tom slid down Kathryn’s body kissing it all the way and began to slurp up the juices that began to flow. Tom placed his fingers on Kathryn’s pussy and gently spread her lips apart. He then gently pressed his fingers and just as he was about to penetrate her she turned away and rolled on top of him.

She grabbed a blindfold from a nearby draw, placed it over his eyes and tied it behind his head. She then grabbed some scarves and tied him to the bed so that his arms were spread apart.

She then began to kiss him and then moved to his ear and began to nibble on his ear lobe, she whispered to him to relax and enjoy.

She gently began to squeeze his balls whilst kissing his upper torso, she moved her lips slowly down his body and began to lick the head of his cock, she licked the entire length of his shaft and then plunged his cock deep into her mouth. She began to suck harder than ever before and the pleasure was immense. Tom’s body began to buck as he neared an orgasm.

Then suddenly Kathryn stopped and it sounded like she left the room. A few minutes later and Tom heard Kathryn return. She climbed on top of him and guided his cock into her pussy. She began to raise and lower herself on him keeping a slow steady rhythm, she began to moan.

Tom felt something move over the top of him and before he could work it out it lowered onto his mouth. He could taste pussy. It couldn’t have been Kathryn as she was busy riding his cock. The taste was different to what he was used to and tasted good so he began to lick frantically. As he was doing this the pussy got wetter and wetter and he had to taste more so he forced his tongue inside.

Meanwhile Kathryn had quickened her pace and was moaning loudly.

The girl sitting on his face began to moan softly and her juices began to ooze out from between her legs covering his face in a warm sticky substance. She began to rock backwards and forwards forcing his tongue further inside her and Tom could hear both girls moaning loudly.

Tom felt himself building up to orgasm and within a few minutes he exploded inside Kathryn, both of them screamed with pleasure and Kathryn moved as fast as she could up and down filling her pussy with as much cum as she could.

Kathryn lifted herself off of Tom’s cock, at the same time the girl on his faced moved to.

Tom was straddled once again and he could feel a warm liquid covering his mouth. He realised that this was Kathryn and began to suck his own cum from her soaking wet pussy. Kathryn began to rock her body each time pouring more juices into his mouth.

The mystery person lowered themselves onto Tom’s cock slowly which had become rock hard again. This pussy was much tighter than Kathryn’s and he could here the girl gasp as his cock was slowly swallowed up. Tom began to pump his hips and his cock began to slide more freely inside.

Kathryn removed the blindfold and as his eyes adjusted to the light he saw Kathryn smiling at him as Tom looked around Kathryn he couldn’t believe his eyes, Sarah was completely naked and was bouncing up and down on his cock. Her dark brown hair was draped all over her face and she looked as though she was enjoying every minute. He could see her tits which were about the same size as Kathryn’s bouncing as she moved up and down. Looking further down her body he could see that her pussy was cleanly shaven and he could just see the beginning of her slit between her legs.

Kathryn and Sarah looked at each other and began to passionately kiss each other, and their tongues began to work away rolling together.

Kathryn untied Tom from the bed and as he stood up to stretch Sarah fell on top of Kathryn and she began to move slowly down her body until she reached her pussy. She stuck out her tongue and began to lick Kathryn’s crotch.

Seeing Sarah bent over with her bum in the air Tom could see her soaking pussy clearly. He placed his fingers deep inside her and proceeded to finger fuck her as fast as he could. Sarah’s breathing quickened and her body began to squirm, he pulled his fingers out just as she orgasmd and her cum squirted out of her pussy and covered Tom’s face. He then rammed his cock into her and began to thrust. He licked his fingers clean of Sarah’s pussy juice and fucked her as hard and as fast as he could. Sarah began to scream loudly and had a powerful orgasm, her body began to shake and she slammed her body against Tom’s as hard as she could so that he was very deep inside her. Tom filled her tight pussy with his cum and it began to pour out of her. Both girls started to moan, Sarah orgasmd first and Kathryn was not far behind.

The girls switched positions and Kathryn began to suck Sarah’s pussy and sucked out all the cum that she produced from the orgasm she just had. Tom now saw that Kathryn had her ass in the air and slammed his cock into her bum hole. Kathryn gasped with shock as Tom lent forward and inserted the length of his cock into her.

All three of them were now moaning and just as Tom was about to cum he pulled out from Kathryn’s ass and shoved his cock in Sarah’s mouth. She took all of his cum and swallowed. Tom and Sarah began to kiss and Tom could taste a mixture of his, Kathryn’s and Sarah’s cum.

Kathryn began to play with Tom’s bum and licked around his ass ring; she gradually pushed her finger and placed it in his bum. Slowly she moved it in and out and Tom began to moan softly. Tom felt his cock become stiffer and rolled onto his back. Both girls began to suck and lick his cock at the same time. He was ready to cum again and shot his load all over both of their faces.

They both looked at each other and began to lick the cum from each other. Once they were both clean all three lay on the bed next to each other on the bed and decided that they all had a great time and they should all meet up again sometime to do it again.

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The Business Trip

April 25th, 2009 H Posted in Adult & Sex Jokes | No Comments »

A businessman returns from the far east. After a few days he notices stange growth on his manhood.

He sees several doctors. They all say: “You’ve been messing around in the Far East, very common there, no cure. We’ll have to cut it off.”

The man panics, but figures if it is common in the East they must know how to cure it. So he goes back and sees a doctor in Thailand.

The doctor examines him and says, “You’ve been fooling around in my country. This is a very common problem here. Did you see any other doctors?”

The man replies, “Yes a few in the USA.”

The doctor says, “I bet they told you it had to be cut off.”

The man answers, “Yes!”

The doctor smiles, nods, “That is not correct. It will fall off by itself.”

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Madisons Cure

March 4th, 2009 H Posted in Sex Stories | No Comments »

Even with the air conditioner on, the sweltering heat outside had John sweating. And it was close to bedtime, but Texas heat wouldn’t let up until several months later, if the state was lucky.

“How did I know you were here?”

John turned to see Madison standing in the doorway. He looked at her, smiled weakly and picked up his drink to hide his delight at seeing her curvy figure standing in t-shirt and hip hugging jeans that accentuated just how shapely her figure was. “You’re just lucky, I guess.”

She frowned. “When are you going to stop working so hard?”

John licked his lips and looked at Madison, his eyes traveling up and down the line of her body. Strands of blond hair strayed from her ponytail, accentuating her round face. Ocean blue eyes and plump lips beckoned to him, silently asking for permission to

Hands on her curved hips, she strode forward and took the drink from his hand. “What are you drinking?”

She took a swig before he could answer, and immediately started coughing.

John took the drink from her hand and patted her on the back. “Scotch on the rocks, Madison. My favorite.” John handed her a bottle of water from beside the half empty bottle of scotch.

Madison took a long, deep swig, her throat pulsing with each swallow.

Something tight formed low in John’s groin as he watched beads of water slide down her long neck into the valley of her luscious breasts. John noticed how snug the fit of her red and pink stripped shirt fit across her breasts.

Or how it showed a little bit of skin when she arched her head back to drink the rest of the water.

Setting the empty bottle down on the table, Madison looked at John, narrowing her eyes. “What are you doing here, anyway?”

“I’m on break right now, but in a few minutes I’m off to bed. I have to get up early and go to the property, let my new contractor in, run errands all afternoon on the north side of town and get things ready for our refi.”

Madison reached out to him, the soft touch of her hands against his tense shoulders set hi at ease. “You weren’t even going to tell me you were here, were you?”

John looked around the apartment, at the window and back at Madison again. “I planned to. Just after things were in order so we could “

Madison’s fingers touched his chin. “Don’t play games with me John. We both know how you are. You need to work less, spend more time with me.”

John let out a long, slow breath. “I know. I promise I will. Just have to get this deal going first. I flip this house and I’m free financially. We’re so close, Madison. Two of our partners are only two deals behind me and I know. You’re not buying it, are you?” He stopped talking, studying her expression instead. The smell of humidity hung in the air along with something else more primal. Her personal aroma drifted his way.

“I’m not buying your bullshit. I’m proud of you. But you can’t just waltz in here and stay with me without giving me warning so I can rearrange my schedule for you.”

John took his glass and poured more scotch into the settled ice. “I’d rather you not.”

“You don’t love me?”

He arched an eyebrow at her. “With all my heart, I love you.”

Her frown deepened. “Then cut the crap. And slow down. I’ll rush your ass to the hospital for your heart but I promise you’ll not be happy with me afterwards.”

John threw his head back in laughter. “I’m fine dear. Okay?”

Madison slapped his shoulder.

John reached for her hand, taking it in his. She was warm. “I’d slow down for you,” his voice was a low whisper now.”

“You haven’t yet.” She set a hand on her luscious hip.

“Make me?” John spun around in the chair and looked at the documents spread out before him. Loan papers, contractor bids, materials lists and schedules for the next few weeks lay out on the desk in a mess.

“Maybe I will.” She glared at him, her tongue flicking over her plump bottom lip.

His cock hardened. “You haven’t yet.”

Madison sighed. “Haven’t found the right time yet. And why won’t you relax and wear casual clothes? It’s Friday for Christ’s sake.”

He leaned back and set his hands behind his head. “I thought you liked me in a suit.”

She licked her lower lip. “I do. But it’s ninety-five degrees outside and your hair is still hanging down. Aren’t you hot?”

Raising his glass, he swished the ice around. “Got my scotch on the rocks. You’re here now. I’m good.”

Madison threw her hands up and sighed. “What am I going to do with you?”

John looked at Madison, wishing he could just fall asleep in beautiful pools of her eyes. Or swim naked with her. That was a thought.

Something built low in his body. He wondered if Madison could feel it when they touched.

He sure as hell could.

But damn, he was tired. It had been a long flight, the heat was overbearing. He’d had no trouble getting his rental car or visiting the property but had to spend too much time without eating. And then he had to remember where Madison left the spare key to her apartment.

The fact that his property was in Kingwood, he had to fly into Houston Hobby and then drive all the way back to Sugarland where Madison lived was exhausting too. But she was well worth it. Hell, he’d do anything to see her standing before him, looking at him with a hidden mischievous grin and her hands on her hips. Breasts jutted out proudly while her oh so kissable lips moved.

“I’ve got all sorts of ideas, babe.”

“I’m sure you do,” she nodded. “Just come to bed when you’re done.”

John watched her walk off, her hips swaying from side to side with each step she took. Hands reached for the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head before she disappeared, leaving him with a view of her white bra, tanned skin and the desire to slake his own primal needs tonight.

“Damnit!” John knocked back the drink and slammed the glass on the table. Not only was he tired, somewhat drunk, and not looking forward to the first of a few long Saturdays, he was horny.

His cock strained against his pants and he knew he had to do something. Maybe a cold shower. Or maybe a long, hot shower that featured Madison stepping into the large tub with him, setting her delectably round ass against his cock and letting him smell her arousal, feel her heat.

Of course there was just a quick shower where he blew his hair dry, dressed for bed in pajama bottoms, a tank top that showed off his muscular arms and pale skin. And there was another glass of scotch, a large one designed to knock him out so he’d sleep tonight without dreaming of Madison’s pussy gripping him and milking him.

John slumped back in his chair, head hanging forward. He took a sip of scotch, let the liquid burn his throat before he took another longer swig. Sitting up, he looked at the stack of papers that had been neatly organized.

“Madison?”

He smiled to himself.

The bedroom door opened. “John,” Madison’s sleepy voice called out.

John looked up, set his glass down on the desk and waited. “Yes dear?”

“It’s bedtime. Come to bed.”

She sounded needy. Another man would have missed the subtlety of want in her voice. “I have things to do before bed first.”

“Then I’ll come to you.” Her voice was a husky whisper.

John arched a brow.

A moment later, Madison appeared before John wearing a black see through teddy that flowed out at the bottom with lace trimming. A scrap of lace hid both nipples and obscured his view of her pussy. Her hair had fallen around her shoulders in curls, so that it bounced with each step she took towards him. Hands started at her shoulders, smoothed down her arms, over her full breasts and over her round stomach until stopping at her hips. Madison stuck one leg forward, took a tentative step closer to John and stopped mere inches from him. “Well?”

His jaw dropped. He blinked several times to make sure he was seeing right before focusing on her expression.

“You think I’m fat. I knew it.”

“No!” He stood and took her hands in his. His stomach tightened from the contact hwile his cock hardened. Blood pumped faster down south and his mouth was bone dry. “No, that’s not it. It’s just just wow Madison. I’ve dreamed of this for years.”

“What do you intend to do now?” Her frown became a smile.

His cock throbbed beneath his boxers. Damn clothes!

Something inside John switched on as though the alcoholic haze that had begun to settle around his mind had been lifted.

Lifting a hand to the back of her head, he pulled her mouth to his, crushing their lips together fiercely.

Inhaling deeply, he swept his tongue over her bottom lip, he pulled her body to his, making sure to press the length of his cock against her belly. She smelled of seduction, peaches and cream. “I intend to have you, lover.” He nibbled her lower lip, enjoying her moans into him as her hands roamed up his back and settled on his shoulders.

A hand wrapped around loose strands of his hair and pulled his mouth away from hers. His neck exposed, she bent her head and pressed her lips to his neck, sucking on the flesh just above his collarbone.

John groaned pleasurably, his cock nudged against her belly still, pressure building deep inside him.

Forcing her thighs apart with his leg, he pushed her down against his thigh, feeling the wet heat against his skin through the flimsy material of their clothes. “Too many barriers,” he commanded and immediately lifted her teddy off and threw it aside.

“That was my favorite!”

“And it looks great on you. But you look better as you are.” He pressed his thigh between her legs, rubbing her pussy harder.

She straddled him, gripping his leg tightly.

The valley between Madison’s thighs burned his leg with intense heat. “You’re hot for me?”

“For years,” she whispered into his ear before her tongue slipped around his earlobe.

“Sit,” spinning her around, he pulled her onto his lap and made her straddle him.

Madison giggled, a light airy sound.

Her ass was firmly pressed against his taut stomach. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he slid his hands up her belly slowly, inch by slow inch.

“You really like the way I look?” Her voice was laced with doubt.

“I love the way you look Madison. You’re beautiful, a full figured woman with “ A knock at the door cut him off.

He turned his head towards the door. Nothing was going to ruin this perfect moment damnit! “What the hell?”

A wicked grin crossed Madison’s puckered lips. “That should be Alicia.”

A brow arched. “Alicia?”

Madison slid slowly off his thighs and strode towards the door. “I told you to stop working so hard earlier, didn’t I?”

“Yes.” he nodded.

“And you said ‘make me,’ didn’t you?”

John nodded again, confused still. His dick throbbed painfully.

“So, I used the one weapon I had guaranteed to make you stop for just long enough to relax.”

“Your body?”

“And,” she opened the door, “Alicia’s.”

Alicia stepped through the threshold, slipped off a green trench coat to reveal a similar outfit to Madison’s, only in red. “Hi John,” she twirled around, giving John a view of her tight bottom and the thin strap of material that disappeared between toned cheeks. Red lace scraps of cloth covered round breasts that appeared firm. Ruby red lipstick emphasized full lips and green eyes, eyes that held the strongest tinge of seduction in them.

“Do you like?” Alicia caressed Madison’s arm with a red fingernail. Her hair had been pulled back into a tight bun atop her head.

Madison reached for the band that held Alicia’s hair up and tugged it free. “She’s a natural redhead, John.”

“I like what I’m seeing.” John reached behind him and grabbed the glass of scotch. Taking a long sip, he kept his eyes focused on Madison and Alicia.

Alicia was clearly the aggressive one, caressing and stroking Madison softly until she began to purr.

“I’ve waited years to hear that sound. Never thought another woman would be the reason, but who cares, right?” John’s cock grew harder. He couldn’t take his gaze from either woman.

Both women strode closer to John, never breaking contact. “I’ve told you I had fantasies involving women before, John!” Madison puckered her lips and before John could get up to kiss her, Alicia cut him off and locked her lips to Madison’s. A hand snaked behind Madison’s head, pulling her into the kiss deeper, while another hand snaked around her waist and caressed the underside of a breast.

Madison pulled away long enough to murmur, “stroke yourself for me, John.”

John set his glass down again and touched his throbbing organ through his pants.

“Not like that,” Alicia hissed and broke from the kiss. She reached for John’s pajama bottoms and tugged them down.

He arched upwards and let her slide them down his legs.

“You didn’t tell me he was built, Madison.” Alicia’s green eyes sparkled with passion, desire. Hell, the room began to fill with the pungent scent of arousal.

His cock sprung free, bobbing forward in the cool air.

“You didn’t tell me he was hung, either. Shame on you Madison!” Alicia licked her lips.

“I had no idea,” Madison smirked.

To his knowledge, she hadn’t either. John once thought he saw Madison spying on him while he showered, but when he turned his head, there wasn’t anyone around.

Madison stepped forward, reaching out tentatively. Her eyes met Johns.

“Go on, Madison. You started this.” His tone mirrored Alicia’s bold movements.

He felt Alicia’s lips suck on his toes, sending signals racing straight up his legs and to his cock.

Madison touched John’s cock, wrapping her fingers around its girth before her lips curled into a smile. “You’re so smooth, like velvety steel, John. I had no idea.”

Her eyes widened as his cock throbbed in her hand.

“Madison, I oh god,” his hips jerked upwards when Alicia nibbled his inner thigh.

Madison pumped his cock up and down a few times. “It’s so”

“Meant for you,” he choked out as Alicia’s soft lips nudged his thighs apart. Full breasts brushed against the bottoms of his legs.

Madison stepped forward, sinking to her knees. “What do you taste like?”

Before he could answer, he found his legs spread apart even farther apart due to Alicia’s making room for Madison.

Alicia turned towards Madison, giving John a great view of her profile and her round, high breasts. Alicia bent her head forward, stroking Madison’s mouth with her tongue. Slowly, Madison opened her mouth for the other women. Quickly, Alicia’s tongue slipped past Madison’s lips.

Madison’s eyes shot up in surprise. John saw a tongue slip past Madison’s lips, wondered what it tasted, how the inside of Madison’s mouth felt. Was she sweet like he’d always thought, or spicy?

Hands caressed Madison’s breasts, forcing tiny sounds from her. She kept her hand pumping John’s engorged cock. A soft moan escaped his lips when the hand tightened around him.

Alicia pulled away from the kiss and looked at John, her eyes sparkling.

He stared down at her, noticing her round, brown nipples and how large they were. How they looked eager for his mouth. Hell, he was salivating just looking at Madison’s nude body and his cock was slick with precum.

“You’re looking at me as though I’m dinner,” Alicia giggled.

“Appetizer until my main course.” John’s head was pushed back gently, fingers ruffling through strands of thick, blonde hair.

“What am I?” Madison said with almost a pouty note in her voice.

“Main course and dessert.” John licked his lips and felt Madison’s smile in the dim light.

“Good.” Madison dipped her head between his thighs and opened her mouth.

John started to caress her silky dirty blonde locks but was instantly stunned, the heat of her mouth surrounding his cock made him stop everything he was doing.

I’ve never felt such heat from any woman who has ever sucked my dick,” John gasped out as Madison’s mouth drew him in all the way and slid him slowly, slowly out inch by painful inch.

“And you never will,” Madison spoke with her lips wrapped around John’s cock.

Combined with fingers teasing his scrotum, nails probed between his ass.

He squirmed and looked down to see the top of Madison’s head slowly sucking him in once again, while hands caressed her hips.

Alicia’s fingers slipped beneath the tiny strips of cloth that was the waistband of Madison’s panties and pulled down, slowly.

While keeping his cock in her mouth, Madison shifted her weight to allow her panties to come off.

“Your pussy is so beautiful, I can’t wait to sink my tongue inside.” Alicia’s husky voice echoed John’s thoughts.

“She’s shaved, isn’t she?” His words came out more as a groan.

The head of his cock popped out of Madison’s mouth with a loud noise.

He stiffened.

She licked her lips and nibbled his shaft delicately.

Each bit of contact made him tense up as pressure built in his balls. The need for release hovered just below the surface of his skin as beads of sweat dripped down his brow.

“It’s hot in here, Madison.”

Madison pulled his cock from her wet mouth and looked at him. “I agree, John.” She arched her hips upwards, giving John a great view of her plump ass.

Alicia had shed her clothes completely. Standing naked before them both, she looked at Madison. “Come here,” she spoke in a low tone meant for only the three of them to hear.

Eyes half opened, Madison rose to her full height, breasts bobbing beneath her bra.

“Take that off,” John commanded. “I want to see your mounds.”

Madison started to turn away but was held fast by Alicia’s strong grip. “You wanted this Madison, so don’t shy away. Both of us love your body,” she unhooked the black bra and let the straps slide down Madison’s shoulders. “Don’t we, John?”

John nodded. Standing, he broke the distance between them and sealed his mouth over Madison’s. Her lips felt full, ripe for kissing as his tongue swirled over her bottom lip once more.

She opened her mouth to his advances, let him slide his tongue into her.

Fingers tangled in his hair, nails fluttered over his skin.

The inside of her mouth felt hot, on fire and velvety soft as their tongues wrestled for control. Madison’s advances became bolder. Her arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him to her.

His cock brushed against her belly, her breasts crushed against his chest. “I’ve always wanted to see just how built you were,” her own voice had become a sultry sound he could listen to forever.

Fingers brushed over hard pecs and slid down his sides over a rippled six pack. John couldn’t help but flex for her, even as his mind became lost in the fog of ecstasy.

A hand reached for his balls, tugging them and sending pleasure racing throughout his body while another tongue probed his ass.

Squirming, John spread his legs apart farther, nudging his cock against Madison’s heat. “I want inside your pussy Madison.” His mouth conquered hers again, tongue plundering between moist lips.

She pulled back from their kiss “I’d like to let you in, but I need a favor.” She giggled and gasped as a pair of strong fingers found her wet entrance.

“Anything,” he spoke followed by an unidentifiable noise forced from him when Alicia’s mouth wrapped around his shaft.

“Anything?” The mischievous look in Madison’s eyes made him wonder what other pleasures they’d share tonight.

“Keep touching me Madison. Alicia’s already helped convince me to bend to your will.”

“Good,” Alicia blew cool air over his thighs.

Shivers raced up and down his legs and his knees grew weak.

Madison let her arms settle on John’s hips. “Are you still interested, Alicia?”

“What’s good for the goose,” Alicia giggled. “I’ll be right back.”

With a quick motion, Alicia slipped away from the two of them. She threw her coat around her and dashed out the door.

John heard footsteps from tiny redhead as she bound down the stairs. “She’s excited.”

“And so are you. Come here.” Madison led John by his cock to the couch. “Have a seat.”

John did as he was asked. The soft material of Madison’s couch made him all too aware that he was naked in his best friend’s apartment. His cock bobbed and twitched, still slick from earlier. “She’s quite an enthusiast.”

“Alicia?” Madison purred, straddling John’s legs so that his cock brushed against her wet pussy, then slipped against her round belly.

‘Yup. What are you up to?” He settled his hands around her ass, pulling her to him.

Her arms wrapped around his neck. She drew him to her. Their lips met in a soft, slow kiss designed to turn the heat up between them.

Madison’s body was already slick with sweat. Her hair fell forward, blocking out the low light from the bathroom behind them. John inhaled, smelling roses and sex.

Madison took a deep breath as their lips met, pulled apart and met again. She began nibbling his lower lip while her hands slid down his shoulders and gripped his sides.

His hands stayed on her ass, massaging her sweet, soft flesh and pulling her closer to him with each kiss.

Wet, hot lips slid up and down the length of his cock, never quite letting him in, never quite breaking contact from him.

John’s fingers slid lower on her ass, pressing against her asshole.

She squealed and gave him a dirty look.

John cocked his head to one side. “Not yet?”

“For me, no. For you?”

The door opened before John could react. Both of them turned their heads to see Alicia standing in the doorway.

She dropped the coat. John’s eyes roamed down the length of her body, past her firm breasts, over her round belly and hips and stopped short at her pussy.

Or rather, the protrusion from her pussy.

“Come on, you didn’t expect this?” Alicia seemed so cocksure as she strode towards them.

Madison couldn’t suppress laughter as John’s eyes widneed.

“She’s going to fuck me with that?”

“It’s no different than you fucking me with your big cock,” Madison nudged her pussy against John’s throbbing cock.

Damn, his erection ached so painfully, he was at the point where anything Madison wanted, he’d give her. Hell, he’d waited all throughout their relationship to be able to show her his love.

And she was giving it, with a string.

“That thing will “

Lips sealed over his. Inhaling sharply, he pulled Madison’s body closer to his, shifting his hips for entrance to her hot cunt.

“Not yet!” She arched her hips just out of reach from the head of his cock, then moved close enough so the head of his cock brushed against her wet entrance.

“It’s smaller than yours, “Alicia giggled. “And it’ll get me off too.”

“Well, getting you off is good.” John threw his head back, giving Madison a chance to wrap her mouth around the delicate spot on his neck just above his shoulder.

Still, he tried to thrust into Madison, but couldn’t gain any momentum. She outweighed him in this position.

He sighed, more a sound of pleasure than anything else. Still, his hormones raced towards his groin, the tension building within him seemed to tighten unbearably. His skin itched, his body was on fire.

Madison sunk down on him, crying aloud, engulfing him in instance flames that threatened to consume his sanity.

Grunting, John thrust his hips upwards triumphantly into Madison’s pussy. “Damn,” he hissed through gritted teeth.

“Fucking finally!” Alicia came around the couch and sat beside Madison and John. “You have no idea how long I’ve been hearing from her that she’s wanted that.”

Madison shot her a glare.

John’s surprised expression must have shown on his face because Alicia looked at him, lifted a breast up and licked it before fingers slid beneath the strap on to the valley between her thighs. “Oh come on, you knew she wanted this!”

John started to respond but Madison’s lips clamped around him like a vice grip.

“You’re still so tight,” he groaned.

Madison slid up and down his pole a few times, her breasts bobbing against his chest. “I’ve been doing my exercises but I had no idea you’d “

He’d cut her off with a few upward thrusts, using the momentum of her bobbing up and down on him to give him leverage.

Her nails raked across his skin, digging in to his shoulders and back.

John cried out then softened against Madison’s body. A tongue slithered around his ear before plunging inside, swirling around and exploring.

The mouth organ slithered in and out of his ear, pleasure assaulting his body from three different areas that all sent electric sparks down to his quivering cock.

“I’m going to come if you keep that up, Madison!” His arms wrapped around her waist, holding her in place before one hand settle don his wrist and pried him from her.

“Lay down, both of you. Madison on top and I’ll be on bottom!” It wasn’t a request.

John looked at Alicia, her eyes lust filled and only half opened. Light glittered in her eyes as she reflected the heat flowing between the three of them.

Madison shifted her weight and climbed off John.

He felt the same emptiness she did until he saw what Alicia had planned. “Have you ever done this before?”

She produced a rather large bottle of lubricant and smothered the tip of her small penis with it. “Of course!”

Even as timid as he was to have something foreign probe and fuck his asshole, John was beginning to enjoy her cockiness. John watched as Alicia slicked the rubber dick up and down with her hands, like Madison had done with his earlier. “How will you get off?”

“You’re both going to drive a little nub inside of me that’ll hit my clit. And I’ll probably come a rocket if you two do it right!” Laughing, she drew her legs up and spread them apart, the fake phallus sticking upwards.

“Sit on it,” she commanded.

Reluctantly, John moved his ass backwards towards the fake cock. It brushed his skin and he jumped forward, nearly falling forward.

Madison giggled and reached for his cock. “Come on, big boy. You’re bigger than that thing. Play with it for me, while I suck on your beautiful dick!”

His cock throbbed in Madison’s hand.

She pumped him a few times and eased him back against the dildo. “Sit,” she purred, “please?”

He couldn’t resist her beautiful green eyes. Or the look of desperation on her face that begged for him to be inside her, spreading her pussy lips apart as he shoved himself inside her and drove them all to ecstasy.

Fingers probed his ass, slick and wet. His asshole puckered, until a hand slapped his cheek. Fire spread throughout the area, then cooled off.

“Relax. It’s going to feel good,” Alicia emphasized the last word, letting each syllable roll off her tongue slowly.

Slowly, John backed into the phallus, his asshole feeling the cool sensation of the lube. Fingers pressed into his asshole, smooth nails brushed past his opening and invaded him, stretching him out.

Madison’s hand kept pumping him, but was replaced by hot lips and a heavy, wet tongue.

“I like the way you do that,” he eased himself into the two fingers that had sunk into his ass while Madison’s mouth worked over his swollen cock.

Nails pinched his ass.

He squirmed and thrust his cock deeper down Madison’s throat.

She gagged and coughed before looking into his eyes.

“I’m sorry!” He and Alicia said in unison.

Madison smirked. “Sit on her cock.” Her hands pushed him down onto the toy until it was all the way inside of him.

Pain arced through him, then subsided. Alicia shifted her hips upwards, brushing the cock against his prostrate.

John groaned aloud before feeling Madison’s lips on his cock.

“Suck my cock baby,” he ran a hand through his own hair before stroking Madison’s curly blond locks. His hands smoothed her hair back away from her face and ran down her shoulders. Her soft skin was definitely something he’d want to spend caressing the rest of the night.

His cock plopped out of her mouth. “I want you in me, John.”

The sultry sound of her voice combined with the look in her half open eyes spoke volumes.

“Oh god yes,” Alicia moaned from behind John.

The slowness of her thrusts filling him certainly made him feel full, and empty again when she pulled away but damn the sensations coursing through his body from just the limited contact of her toy with his prostrate!

“Sit on my fat cock, Madison. Let me love you.”

“Fuck me,” Madison straddled both of them, impaling herself on John’s cock. After a moment, she felt Alicia relax. Slowly, Madison moved up his shaft, and back down, sighing pleasurably.

John moaned again, a soft echo of Alicia’s noise behind him. Hands gripped his hips, hands gripped his shoulders and tangled in his hair. Lips brushed against his mouth, conquering, not asking politely, for his tongue while a second mouth licked and trailed fiery kisses over his spine.

As odd as it felt to move with Alicia behind him, he steadied himself and thrust harder, deeper into Madison, the sound of bodies slapping against bodies echoing throughout her living room. Madison’s body challenged his in a frantic frenzy of thrusts and nails that dug into his flesh. He’d certainly have plenty of marks in the morning!

With each slap into Madison, came a reverberating slap against Alicia’s hips, the cock shoving in hard and fast against both of them while her screams filled the room.

After another moment, the trio found a steady rhythm and began to move slowly, rhythmically.

Madison’s screams joined Alicia’s as her orgasm neared.

Sweat covered all three bodies, making movement difficult, but still they fucked and pounded each other as the coil inside John wound itself tighter and tighter until finally it snapped.

His balls drew up against his body, the pressure from the fake dick in his ass combined with the feeling of Madison’s sopping pussy gripping, milking him forced his orgasm in a tide that spilled out inside of her.

Cum gushed from his cock, nails dug into his shoulders and teeth bit into him as the other two women came loudly, Madison squirting, covering his cock with a mixture of her own cum and his. Alicia’s orgasm hit last, triggering another orgasm from John.

“Oh fucking goddamn,” he yelled, grunted and came, shooting in spurts deep inside Madison’s hot hole.

Madison quivered in his arms, her grip around his waist tightening as she threw her head back and came a river, the flood of emotion hitting hard.

John felt it too, his own heart racing, the beats matching hers and Alicia’s.

It seemed the three were in perfect unison.

A few minutes later, John helped Madison onto the couch. She sat watching Alicia’s ‘cat ate the canary’ grin while she pulled off the strap on and set it aside.

“Bed time?” John looked at Alicia, then at Madison.

“Yes,” Alicia nodded. “For now.”

“And the next time you come into town,” Madison coughed, “you’d better tell me!”

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Pickup Line Comebacks

March 4th, 2009 H Posted in Adult & Sex Jokes | No Comments »

Man: “If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.”
Woman: “Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.”

Man: “I want to give myself to you.”
Woman: “Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.”

Man: “Haven’t we met before?”
Woman: “Yes, I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.”

Man: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: “Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”

Man: “Is this seat empty?”
Woman: “Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.”

Man: “So what do you do for a living?”
Woman: “I’m a female impersonator.”

Man: “So, wanna go back to my place?”
Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”

Man: “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?”
Woman: “Do not Enter”

Man: “Your place or mine?”
Woman: “Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.”

Man: “I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
Woman: “It’s in the phone book.”
Man: “But I don’t know your name.”
Woman: “That’s in the phone book too.”

Man: “What sign were you born under?”
Woman: “No Parking.”

Man: “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
Woman: “Unfertilized !”

Man: “Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason”
Woman: “Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!”

Man: “I’m here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy.”
Woman: “You mean you’ve got both a donkey and a Great Dane?”

Man: “I know how to please a woman.”
Woman: “Then please leave me alone.”

Man: “I can tell that you want me.”
Woman: “Ohhhh. You’re so right. I want you to leave.”

Man: “Hey cutie, how ’bout you and I hitting the hot spots?”
Woman: “Sorry, I don’t date outside my species..”

Man: “Your body is like a temple.”
Woman: “Sorry, there are no services today.”

Man: “I’d go through anything for you.”
Woman: “Good! Let’s start with your bank account.”

Man: “I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: “Yes, but would you stay there?”

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High School Days

January 29th, 2009 H Posted in Sex Stories | No Comments »

Jerry was spending a few days with his old high school buddy, Bill, and his sister, Barbara. Jerry hadn’t seen Bill in years, and when he found that he would be in his town on business, he had called to say hello. Bill had insisted that he stay with them, instead of at a motel. That evening, after a good dinner, the three of them were sitting in the den sipping wine and talking.

“By the way, Barbara, how did your class go today?” Bill asked his sister.

“Great,” she grinned. “Wait until you see what we learned today.”

“I can hardly wait,” Bill grinned.

“What kind of class are you taking?” Jerry asked.

Barbara grinned wickedly. “Strip tease dancing!”

“You’re kidding,” Jerry laughed.

“Yeah, a group of girls talked one of their friends, who used to be a stripper, into teaching them the bumps and grinds,” Bill told him. “They’ve promised to have a party and all the women are going to dance for all their men when they graduate! Barbara’s been giving me a preview of what they do after every class.”

“Yeah, he really gets off on it,” Barbara grinned.

Jerry was a little surprised by Barbara’s comment, but chose to ignore it. “How many girls are in the class?” he asked.

“There’s three of us, not counting the teacher,” Barbara answered.

“When is graduation?” he asked.

“Tomorrow night!” Bill told him. “I can hardly wait!”

“He just wants to see Margie Jackson strut her stuff!” Barbara laughed. “She’s got the biggest pair of tits you’ve ever seen.”

“I want to watch you strut around in front of those other guys, too,” Bill said with a gleam in his eye. “Hey, you’ll still be here, Jerry. Maybe they’ll let you go to the show.”

“Well, I thought of that while I was at class and asked if we could bring him,” Barbara said. “All the girls want him to come. I think they like the idea of dancing naked in front of somebody they don’t know. Be- sides, Gloria’s husband is out of town, so we’re going to be one man short.”

“Great,” Bill enthused. “Hey, I’ve got an idea,” he said. “Why don’t you dance for Jerry and me now?”

“Now?” Barbara asked, but with a twinkle in her eye.

“Yeah,” Bill encouraged her.

“Yea, I think I’d like to do that,” Barbara said. “How about it, Jerry. Would you like to see me strip?”

“Would I!” Jerry said.

“OK, Bill, you put the tape in the stereo while I get ready,” she told him. “And you guys sit on the sofa.”

Barbara left the room and Bill put a tape in the stereo. The two men sat on the sofa, facing the center of the room, Jerry on one end and Bill to his left.

“You’re really going to like this,” Bill grinned. “This gal has taught them some really raunchy stuff. It’s great.” But since there were about to watch Bill’s sister, Jerry figured she would only go so far. After all, stripping in front of your brother was not something that he thought Barbara would really do.

“OK, Bill, turn on the music,” Barbara called from the other room. Bill quickly switched on the tape and got back to his seat. The music started and Barbara came strutting into the room. She was wearing a miniskirt which came down to about mid-thigh, a short blouse which was not buttoned, just tied together below her tits, and a pair of high heeled shoes. She stopped in the middle of the room and slowly turned around in front of them. Then she began to dance, weaving and bumping and grinding in time to the music, her long black hair tossing as she danced, her hips swivelling smoothly with the music.

Barbara turned her back to the men and slowly began to slide the miniskirt up her legs, rolling her firm, round ass at them. Jerry felt his prick beginning to stiffen already! This cunt was as sexy as hell, even fully dressed. When the skirt was just below her ass, Barbara bent over, her legs straight and slightly apart. As she leaned over, Jerry could see just the bottom of the crotch of a pair of black panties! Then she swung back around facing them. Rolling and grinding her hips, she brought her hands up to her head, then slowly down to her breasts.

Jerry didn’t know where he wanted to look the most, to see what she was going to do with her hands or to watch her crotch, where the mini- skirt was still clinging at crotch level and promising to give a peek of her panties again. He decided to watch her hands as she cupped her breasts through the blouse. She squeezed and rolled her boobs, making the gapping front of the blouse alternately open farther and close. Her hands slid down to the knot between her breasts and she slowly and teasingly undid it. Then, ever so slowly, she drew the blouse open, gradually exposing the sloping insides of her tits.

When the blouse was open almost to the nipples, she drew it up to expose the bottoms of her breasts, keeping the nipples covered. Then, suddenly, she jerked the blouse wide open. She had on pasties!

Barbara’s breasts were beautiful, large and firm. Shrugging her shoulders, she let the blouse slide down her arms to the floor. Then, slowly, she began to squat down, her knees together, but pointed straight at Jerry. When she reached a squatting position, she slowly began to open her legs. At first, all Jerry could see was the smooth inside of her thighs. But then, gradually, he could see the crotch of her black panties. When her legs were wide apart, she leaned back on her hands, slowly rotating her pelvis in time with the music.

“You really like this, don’t you?” she asked Jerry, eyeing the bulge in his pants. Jerry just grinned, glancing down at the tent his dick was making in his lap. Hearing a zipper, he glanced sideways at Bill. Bill had unzipped his pants and had his dick out, sticking straight up out of his pants, hard as a rock! Jerry was flabbergasted at what her brother was doing!

Barbara stood back up and unzipped the skirt. She let it slowly slide down her legs and kicked it off. Now she danced in front of them with nothing on but the pasties, her black bikini panties, and the high-heeled shoes. She kicked the shoes off and turned her back, rolling her ass at them. Slowly, she began to roll the bikini panties down, gradually exposing the crack of her ass. When the panties were rolled down below her ass, she turned to face them. She was wearing a G-string!

She pushed the panties down and stepped out of them. Barbara stood in front of Jerry, about three feet away, rolling her hips and looking at the huge bulge in his pants. She licked her lips.

“If you really like what I’m doing, why don’t you do what my brother is doing, too” she teased him. Jerry looked over at Bill and saw that he was jacking on his prick, his fist sliding slowly up and down his hardon.

“Yeah, take that thing out and show her how much you like her” Bill told him. Forgetting that an incestuous scene was unfolding before his very eyes, Jerry unzipped his pants and unsnapped his boxer shorts. His dick sprang out of the opening, standing up big and proud. Barbara licked her lips at the sight of the big dick, watching as he slowly slid his hand up and down the big shaft.

Turning her back, Barbara bent forward at the waist, giving Jerry a view right up between her legs. She looked back at him from between her legs, eyeing his stroking fist. Then she straightened up and moved sensuously over in front of Bill.

She leaned toward him and said, “Take one.” Bill reached out and closed his finger tips around one tit. He let his fingers slowly milk their way down her breast until he got to the pastie. Then, taking the pastie between his fingertips, he pulled it off! Her nipple was swollen to a hard point. Bill tweaked it between thumb and forefinger. Barbara reached down and gave the end of his dick a squeeze, then pulled away from him. Dancing up in front of Jerry, she leaned forward.

“Do you want to take the other one off?” she asked him.

“Yeah, take it off of her,” Bill told him, the excitement making his voice low and husky.

“Wow, yes,” was all he could say.

“OK, but you have to do it with your mouth,” she told him. She leaned forward and cupped her breasts, bringing the left one to his mouth. He opened his mouth and gripped the pastie with his teeth. She pulled back and it came off, exposing a large pink nipple, swollen to a hard point! Jerry let the pastie drop from his mouth as she brought the other tit up and held the breast up to his lips.

“Lick it,” she told him. He extended his tongue, licking the soft, swollen nipple. She removed that one and brought the other one to his lips.

“Suck her tits,” Bill said, jacking on his dick.

“Suck it,” she said. He took the nipple between his lips and began to suck on it. After a few moments, she pulled her tit away and straigh- tened up, backing up a few steps. She slid her hand down over her belly, then slid her middle finger down under the top of the G-string. Behind the thin wisp of cloth, she began to stoke her clit.

“If you want to see more, you’ll have to show your appreciation, like Bill is doing,” she told him. Jerry glanced at Bill and saw that he had taken his pants and shorts completely off. He was leaning back on the sofa with his legs spread. His big prick was sticking straight up, his fist slowly pistoning up and down on it. Jerry grinned and quickly removed his pants, shorts, shoes and socks. His dick stuck straight up in the air!

“Oh, yes,” she breathed in appreciation, as he took his prick in his hand and wiggled it at her. Slowly, he began to slide his fist up and down on it.

“Now, show me more,” he told her. She smiled and pushed the front of the G-string down to the top of her slit.

“Do you like shaved pussy?” she asked.

“Oh, yessss,” he hissed between clenched teeth. Slowly, Barbara pushed the front of the cloth farther down her legs, exposing her slit. Suddenly, she stripped the G-string off, letting it slide down her legs to the floor. She moved right up in front of Jerry and spread her legs. Using her fingers, she pulled her cunt lips wide open, revealing the glistening, dark pink interior, the thick, swollen flaps, the hard, erect clit, alive with wetness as fuck juice oozed from her hole.

“Keep doing what you are doing with your right hand,” she told him, indicating the hand which was sliding up and down his hard meat, “and feel how wet I am with the other.” Jerry glanced at Bill. Seeing no objection from him, he obeyed Barbara’s request. He slid his hand between her legs, his finger sliding up and down her wet slit. He rolled her clit with his fingertip, bringing a moan from her lips, then cupped her pussy with the palm of his hand, his middle fingertip finding the entrance of her drenched cunt. He let the fingertip swirl around in her hole for a few seconds, then pushed it deeper into her. She groaned, then pulled back a little as Jerry’s finger pulled out of he cunt with a popping sound.

“OK, you guys stand up,” she commanded. Quickly, they both rose to their feet, their pricks sticking straight out. Barbara knelt in front of Jerry and pushed his legs apart. She cupped his balls with one hand and gripped his hard cock with the other, sliding her hand up and down the length of his prick, watching pre-cum ooze from the tip. She leaned forward and licked it up. Her tongue then swirled around the big knob, drawing a moan of delight from him.

Parting her lips, she slowly lowered her mouth on Jerry’s hard dick. He watched in amazement as half of his dick quickly disappeared into her hot mouth. Slowly, Barbara slid her lips back up until only the very tip of the cock was still in her mouth, then began to suck him back into her mouth again. Up and down his dick her lips traveled, her cheeks pulled in by the her suctioning action. Jerry couldn’t believe it. Here he was, getting his dick sucked by his friend’s sister while his friend watched and jacked on his dick.

“Yeah, Barbara, suck his dick,” Bill encouraged her. Jerry glanced at Bill and saw that his fist was still moving up and down his swollen cock, jacking himself off in time with Barbara’s sucking movements. Suddenly, releasing Jerry’s dick, Barbara stood up and moved over in front of Bill. She turned her back to him and bent over. Reaching back between her legs, she took his dick in her hand and brought it to her cunt slit. Slowly, she pushed back onto him, and Jerry watched his friend’s prick slowly immerse itself into his own sister’s cunt. She held it there for a few moments, then pulled off of it.

She moved back over in front of Jerry and pushed him down on the sofa. She dropped to her knees in front of him, pushing his legs wide apart. Slowly, Barbara took his dick down her throat again, all the way to the balls! She glanced up at him, and began to slowly withdraw until only the end was in her mouth.

Looking down at Barbara, Jerry watched her suck his dick. She would slide her mouth far down his dick, taking as much in her mouth as she could, then slowly back up until only the end was still in her mouth. Then she would stop there, sucking on the big knob and licking it with her tongue, then she would start the whole cycle over again. Jerry knew he wasn’t going to last long at this.

“Yeah, Barbara, suck him off,” Bill told her, jacking on his dick as he watched the action. Changing her technique, Barbara began sucking vicously on the end of his cock. Jerry felt his balls tightening! His dick swelled as he felt the pressure moving up the shaft of his rod! Suddenly, he groaned and the end of his prick felt like it was exploding as the first strong spurt of cum shot into Barbara’s mouth.

The cum hyngry bitch sucked on the end of his dick, her fist pumping his shaft, as spurt after spurt of cum shot into her mouth. Her throat worked as she swallowed, taking each spurt deep into her tummy. Finally, when the spurts turned to a dribble, she took her mouth off of his prick and began to slid her fist slowly up and down his shaft, pumping the last of his liquid out of him. When the dribbling cum finally stopped, she licked the end of his dick clean, then leaned back and grinned at him, licking her lips.

Barbara stood up. Without a word, she then pushed Jerry back and stood up on the sofa, straddling him. She brought her pussy to his lips, holding his head with her hands.

“Now it’s your turn,” she told him.

“Yeah, suck her pussy,” he heard Bill say.

Jerry stuck out his tongue and flicked the end of her clit, drawing a moan of pleasure from her. He swirled his tongue around her swollen button, then licked down along her slit, swirling his tongue in the opening to her cunt. He brought his hands up to her ass, gripping her and holding her pussy against his mouth. His tongue moved up and down along her slit, licking her clit and her pussy opening. He probed between the cheeks of her ass with a finger.

Barbara groaned when his finger found her asshole and pressed against the tight opening. Continuing to lick her pussy, he wormed the end of his finger up into her rectal opening, twisting and pushing until he had it all the way in!

“Ohhhh, yessss,” she gasped.

“Yeah, suck her pussy and finger her ass,” Bill encouraged him.

Jerry slid his other hand up between her legs and pushed his middle finger all the way up into her juicy, hot pussy. He took her clit between her lips and began to suck on it, twirling his tongue around it as he sucked.

Suddenly, Barbara let out a low scream, grabbing his head and pulling his mouth tightly against her pussy. Her body quaked and quivered as she came! Finally, she pulled away from him and sank down on the sofa between him and Bill.

Jerry looked over at Bill, who had a big grin on his face and was still stroking a tremendous hard on! Bill slid down on his knees between Barbara’s legs and, taking a leg in each hand and holding them up and wide apart, slid his dick up to the balls into the hot cunt. Jerry sat there and watched Bill’s dick glide in and out of Barbara’s pussy. Bill’s prick was glistening with Barbara’s pussy juice as it slid smoothly in and out of her well oiled channel.

Jerry felt his prick beginning to stiffen again as he watched Bill screwing Barbara. Barbara’s head was thrown back and rolling from side to side. She seemed to be feeling intense pleasure. She looked over at him through glazed eyes. Spotting his hard on, she pointed at it and motioned for him to put it in her mouth.

“She wants to suck your dick while I’m fucking her!” Bill grinned at him.

Jerry got up on the sofa beside Barbara. She grabbed his prick and pulled in to her mouth, sucking the end in between her lips.

“Fuck her mouth!” Bill told him, as he slid his cock in and out of Barbara’s juicy pussy.

Barbara grabbed Jerry’s ass and began to push and pull, urging him to truly fuck her mouth. Jerry complied, sliding his dick in and out past her suctioning lips. He looked back at Bill, who was leaning back as he fucked Barbara’s cunt so they could both see his prick sliding in and out of her.

Jerry could see the lips of her pussy opened wide as Bill’s cock slid smoothly in and out. Her clit was standing up like a little thumb. She was moaning around the mouthful of cock that Jerry was fucking in and out of her mouth. Jerry couldn’t believe how good it felt, especially considering that he had just cum.

“Let’s trade places,” Bill suggested. “I’m about to cum, and I want to shoot in her mouth. My sister loves to drink my fuck juice.” He pulled his dick out or her pussy and moved to the other side of the sofa. Jerry yanked his cock from her mouth and stepped down from the sofa.

Evidently, the bitch had been too immersed in the pleasure she had been receiving from the cocks fucking her, and their plan to switch places for she cried out “You bastards. You fucking bastards. How could you take all of that cock from me. Somebody better fuck me. Somebody better fuck me right now.”

Barbara groaned as her brother then rubbed his prick across her lips. She opened her mouth and he slid it in. Jerry took a leg in each hand and raised her feet to rest on his shoulders. He rubbed the end of his prick up and down in her juicy slit, then he heard her groan around the mouthful of dick as he slid it all the way up her cunt.

“This hot cunted sister of mine just can’t get enough fuck meat, can she Jerry? The little bitch is fucking insatiable. Sometimes I think she’s a fucking nymphomaniac.” Jerry nodded his agreement as the cunt surrounding his cock felt like an oven. He watched Barbara’s cheeks alternately puff out and pull in as Bill thrust his prick in and out of her mouth, going so deep that it looked like he was screwing it down into her throat. Barbara’s hand was wrapped around the shaft of her brother’s dick, so she was controlling the depth of his thrusts. Jerry was amazed at how far she was taking it.

Jerry looked down at his dong sliding in and out of her pussy. Her pussy lips were swollen thick and distended around his cock. Her clit was like a large red marble, sticking out so far that it bumped against the root of his dick every time he hit bottom in her. His dick was covered with a thick coating of her juices, and whatever Bill had leaked into her. She was so wet and slick that there was almost no friction, the sensation of fucking her being more one of intense heat than of actually sliding in and out of a tight cunt. It was almost like he couldn’t feel the walls of her pussy, but at the same time he could feel them, softly surrounding his organ.

Suddenly, Bill let out a grunt. Jerry looked up just in time to see Barbara’s fist pumping quickly up and down on his shaft as she madly sucked on the end of his dick. Jerry thought he could almost see Bill’s dick throb as he pumped spurt after spurt of cum down his sister’s throat. Barbara’s throat was working madly as she tried to swallow everything he was pumping into her mouth, but some was leaking out the corners of her mouth. Finally, Bill’s cock slipped from her mouth, leaving a thin string of cum from her lips to the end of his prick.

Jerry saw the wild look in her eyes and knew that she was very close to coming. He began to thrust visciously into her, ramming her so hard that her tits rolled back and forth. She began to gasp, then to moan. She arched her back and thrust her head back, her eyes clinched tightly closed. Suddenly, she let out a low-pitched scream and began to quiver all over. She was coming!!!

As Barbara came down from her orgasm, Jerry just held his dick still in her, buried to the hilt in her pussy. When she finally opened her eyes and looked at him, he just grinned at her.

She licked her lips and grinned lewdly at him, then began to roll her pelvis around his dick. He realized that she still wanted more. He withdrew and thrust into her again, then again. Suddenly, Jerry pulled back and completely removed his dick from her pussy.

“Nooooo,” she moaned, feeling the sudden empty feeling when he withdrew. He slid his dick down past her pussy, down between her cheeks. When she realized where he was going, she pushed against his shoulders with her feet, not to push him away, but rather to elevate her ass.

Bill, who had collapsed on the sofa beside them, raised up to watch what was happening. He saw Jerry take his dick in his fist and rub the end around and around Barbara’s puckered asshole. As he rubbed it around her ass, the head seemed to screw its way in just a little, her ass opening to allow the tip to move up inside just a little. When the entire knob was in, Jerry paused just a moment.

With the knob of his dick inside Barbara’s hole, Jerry paused for a moment. He knew that the slick coating on his cock would allow him to bury it to the hilt in her ass with one thrust if he wanted to, but he wasn’t sure that would be wise. His dick was about the same length as Bill’s, but it was somewhat thicker. If she wasn’t used to one quite that thick, it might hurt going in. He decided to test her.

Using short strokes, he began to slide it back and forth in her butt hole. She moaned as he withdrew and thrust forward. Jerry could see her asshole open to accept his shaft, could feel the clasping walls surround his cock as each thrust carried him a little deeper. He was using about half the length of his dick, and he could see her asshole pucker in and disappear as his shaft slid in and then seem to grasp his shaft and resist as he pulled back out. Suddenly, with a grunt of pure lust, he lunged forward, suddenly shoving the entire length straight up her ass. Her eyes popped wide open as his dick slid balls deep up her ass. She let out a groan, then a smile began to spread across her face as Jerry began to pump it in and out of her, fucking her ass with long deep strokes, using the full length of his dick.

“Wow,” he heard Bill say. “Now that’s ass-fucking!”

Barbara groaned in agreement as she rolled her ass around the invad- ing thrusting prick. Jerry’s pistoning cock was sliding smoothly in and out of her now well lubricated butt-hole. Jerry glanced sideways at Bill and saw that his dick was hard again. He was sliding his fist up and down it, stroking it in time with the big dick going in and out of his sister’s rectum.

Jerry was rubbing Barbara’s slit with his forefinger in time with the strokes of his dick in her ass. She was moaning again, obviously nearing another climax. Jerry, too, was nearing another climax. He felt his balls tightening, felt the swelling, rushing sensation in the shaft of his dick. Grabbing her legs, he pushed them up until her knees were against her tits, spreading them wide for his assault. He began banging her vigorously, slamming his prick in and out of her ass hole, his hips slapping against her ass cheeks. She let out a groan and began quivering all over as she once again passed the peak of climax. Jamming his dick to the hilt in her soft ass, Jerry groaned as he came, spurting shot after shot of semen deep into her bowels. Suddenly, Bill raised up and moved up over Barbara, jacking on his prick furiously with his fist. He let out a gasp as he began to spurt, shooting his load all over his sister’s heaving tits.

Jerry withdrew his wilting cock from her ass and gently let her legs down. She opened her eyes and grinned at them.

“Wow, guys, now that is what I call getting royally fucked!” she told them. They both laughed and grinned their agreement.

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Sick Husband

January 28th, 2009 H Posted in Adult & Sex Jokes | No Comments »

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die.”

“Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don’t burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don’t discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. And most importantly…make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely.”

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, “What did the doctor say?”

“You’re going to die,” she replied.

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More Than Roommates

December 11th, 2008 H Posted in Sex Stories | No Comments »

“Hey, I’m Home” I say as I walk down to the kitchen of my apartment to my roommate Chris. His dark, slightly curly hair appears around the wall that separates the living room and the kitchen.
“Welcome back. What did you get up too?” He asks and I see the rest of his head. His face is a lovely olive and his eyes a magnificent green.
“Can’t I have an secrets?” I ask, as I am slightly ashamed of my whereabouts 30 minutes ago.
“Come on Belle, I’m your best mate, it cant be that embarrassing, don’t you trust me any more?” He asks as he comes out of the living room looking impossibly handsome in a dark t-shirt and mid denim jeans.
“Alright fine… I got a wax…” I say looking down at my skirt. I had hoped of keeping it a secret but as my best friend Chris knows I am not very good at keep secrets especially not from him!
“Wow I never thought you would get one! That’s cool. Well can I have an exam?” He asks. I have secretly always had a thing for him but I decided it was best if we just kept being friends.
Astonished by his request I took a step back and with an attempt to control my tone I asked: “why would you want to look at it and no you may not!” Secretly I wanted to show him, but that was out of the question.
“Well you obviously got it done for someone and I merely want to check the quality of it. Is that a bad reason? Plus come on I’m your best friend.” He asked with a cute expression on his face which read ‘Trust me, you know you can!’
“No!” I say as I walk down to the bathroom and as I shut the door I feel guilty that I said no to my one desire and to a face as gorgeous as his!

I shrug off my clothes and hop into the shower, as that is what the lady told me to do. As I washing my body I hear the bathroom door open.
“Go away” I tell Chris.
“Too late” He says as he opens the door and I see the most wonderful body in the world! It is toned and it is olive and it is strong, masculine and big! And that is not just his body!
“Well, she did do a good job.” He says with a naughty little smile on his face as he kneels down to face my newly waxed pubic area.
“What are you…” I start but soon stop as his mouth starts kissing me. I suddenly start to feel even more wet. Then his lips part and his tongue starts licking my vagina. He is so good; his tongue is roaming my entire vagina hitting my clit multiple times a minute. I feel my knees buckle and soon I feel a pressure building up inside. As he hits my clit one more time I have my first ever orgasm and it feels brilliant. My knees then buckle completely and I land in his arms. That is when we kiss for the 1st time and it is magic. His tongue roams my entire mouth the way he did to my vagina.
Then I pull away about to ask why he is doing this when he brings me back for more kissing. Then I feel something start to stand up behind my back. I pull away once more but this time I make sure he can read my eyes.

I stand up and move down so that I can repay the favor he had just given me. I lower myself so I am sitting naked on his thighs. Then I start to rug his 9-inch penis and I can feel it harden instantly. Then I start to lower my lips to it but stop right before I am able to kiss it. Instead I move my lips to the side and start kissing his testicles. He shivers. Eventually I can’t stand it any more. I place his dick in my mouth and start sucking it like crazy! I can feel him shiver and moan with pleasure. Then I start licking while I suck. Soon I feel the pressure break and hot seamen races into my mouth. Then I move my moth away and his dick is spraying my neck and chest with seamen, but the water from the shower washes me quickly. I then move my body up and then my lips find his lips again and we start kissing again. He roles me over with care in the shower. His moist lips part with mine and start traveling down my body when I stop him.
“No, more kissing.” I say breathlessly and his lips return. Then his arms come around my back and brings me closer and my arms go around his back and starts messaging his back.
Then his lips part mine again.
“Come on” He says to me.

He steps up wobbly then turns off the shower than leans back down and assists me up then he quickly opens the door and then embraces me and lifts me up and rests me on his hips then subsides into my kissing again. We walk to his bedroom and he places me carefully onto his bed and then pushes me up so that my head is on his pillows. While still kissing me incredibly he reaches into the top draw in his bedside table and pulls out a condom. Quickly he puts it on himself then he enters me. Pushing himself slowly in and out. I start to shiver in joy. Then I feel metal on my wrists. I stop kissing him for a moment.

“Let me take charge of your pleasure, if you ever want me to stop then just say so, but please try it with me.” He says and ends with a little kiss.
“Alright” I agree just wanting to kiss him more.
He starts penetrating himself again inside me, but then speeds up, faster, harder he pushes.
Then we both explode into orgasms again. I feel his hot seamen and my hot cum mixing and we take a moment to pause from kissing and then he lowers his mouth to my neck and starts moving it down towards my pulsing vagina. He gives me oral again and it is even better than the first. Once he has finished with me again he moves again up.
As he releases my restraints I quickly roll him over and cuff him to the bed.
“My turn” I say and then I start rubbing his dick with one hand and rubbing my vagina with the other. I see his mouth start to drool as I bring both him and myself to orgasms again. I stop rubbing myself when I feel ready to burst. I then take my hand which is feeling very wet and I start rubbing it along his face then, while still rubbing his hardened cock I start licking his face. Once I feel satisfied with his hardened cock I mount him and we start having more sex.
Again we orgasm. Then I release his restraints and then I collapse on his heaving chest.

“I have waited so long for that, man Chris, I love you.” I admit.
“I love you too Belle.” He says as he rolls sideways and then turns me around and we lie facing each other like I had dreamed for the past 4 years.
We just lay there in each other’s arms soaking wet from the shower talking. When we finally start falling asleep we prove to each other how much we love each other one more time to be sure.

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